The Intersection

This is still not easy for me to accept, but I need to. I keep banging my head against the same brick wall. I am the Queen of the Love Concussion.

I keep flinging my heart against the same rough-hewn timbers, surprised again and again, as it slides and shreds, again and again.

Where parched ground meets life liquid, mud of my own making crawls along seeking holes to sink into.

If you keep watering the flood, it’s never going to dry. I know this.

I need to allow those crevices to solidify; to harden, flush with the surface.

On that note, I guess it’s time to start going where I’ve been meaning to go.

This is where I was headed when ‘A Year of Memories’ was born, September 2015. Except, we’re now 2 plus years in, and finally in the spot.

This is the Intersection.

The most important part of our saga: how we began a too short, but blessedly new and renewed life together.

It’s complex, but the launch was simple:

I answered the phone….

Quote for the Week:

2018 01 16 if we keep watering the flood jakorte

Enjoy this Week’s Discovery Links

Story: Goal

Story: Timing

Story: Write It (even if no one see it but you.)

The Politic of Cows

The honeymoon saga is being interrupted by a side note.

I hope you all voted today.

You know, my Jeff was a patriot. He always removed his ever-present hat for the national anthem. He removed his hat and placed a hand over his heart for any flag passing by. He admired his friends in the service, had great respect for veterans, never missed a Memorial Day or 4th of July parade, and believed America was the greatest country in the world. 

Jeff also had a wisdom to impart when anyone began discussing politics.

“It doesn’t matter who becomes president tonight,” he’d say. “When we all wake up tomorrow, the cows still gotta get milked.”

This self-proclaimed non-politicking was just a bit of Korte bluster mostly to offset his father’s very-politicking Korte bluster. His practical point was that things tend to stay the same and nothing drastic happens overnight after an election.

Jeff truly cared about his country, his state, his home. I’m sure he would have been horrified by this election, disheartened entirely. I’m afraid this election could very well turn our nation into a disaster tomorrow. I’ve been praying it doesn’t.

At this point, though, the only thing I can say for certain is Jeff’s truth still stands.

Cows still gotta get milked tomorrow morning, regardless.

Quote for the Week:

2016-11-06-the-biggest-truth-in-politics-cows-gotta-get-milked-jakorte

Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Cast: Not Casted

Bullish: Something Good

Michigan: Voter’s Battleground

It Was Supposed to Go Like This, Part 2

We got through that part, and we got through the next part, too.

Then, prematurely and over-enthusiastically (probably due to the nature of his state, which didn’t even seem to be in Michigan), the guy who was supposed to be marrying us announced in Jeff’s direction, “You may kiss the bride!”

By now Jeff had significant rows of scowling creases on his forehead. He also had the where-with-all to stop that nonsense in its track by not-so stage whispering, “The rings! The. Rings!”

We got through that part.

One of the funniest professional photos in my official wedding album is the one where the best man and the matron of honor are assembled to sign as witnesses to the marriage. There’s my sister-in-law not looking pleased, holding out her hand, demanding the pen from Dr. Dinglefritz in a “Give. Me. The Pen.” gesture. My brother is earnestly leaning forward, balancing on 3 fingers deliberately placed on the table. Our best man seems unsure, which is well warranted.

When we left the festivities that evening, we weren’t even sure we were really married.

When the marriage certificate arrived, I was relieved to note it was indeed valid

Jeff just shrugged and said, “See? I told you everything would work out.” Then, added “Wort.”

Quote for the Week:

 

 

semi ad lib Boring Occasions do not make good stories jak 08 30 2016

Bonus: It Was Supposed to Go Like This:

JEFFREY SCOTT KORTE & JODI ANN SELIN WEDDING, OCTOBER 1, 2001

Opening Words by Minister:

Good afternoon, let me please introduce myself, I am DR (sic) Dinglefritz, I am an ordained minister and it is my pleasure to incorporate the beliefs of both JEFF KORTE and JODI ANN SELIN in the wedding service and to thank you for honoring them with your presence today.  Thank you for the friendship and support that you have given them in the past.  Their wedding today will be a moment when all our thoughts are turned toward love and joy.

Prayers:

Minister:      God, our hearts are overflowing with happiness on this special day–JEFF and JODI’s wedding day.  Thank you for bringing them together and for directing them every step of the way as they made their marriage plans.  Thank you also for these their friends who have come to celebrate these moments with them.

Bless their marriage and the home that they are establishing

together.  Help them to continue to grow in their love for each other. Make them thoughtful and understanding helpmates and companions.  Guide them and walk beside them during all their days together as husband and wife.

Giving in Marriage:

Minister:

Who presents this woman to be married to this man? (Response from Bride’s father) “Her mother and I do.” (This part was silent, but there was waving.)

Minister: Today’s reading chosen by the Bride and Groom; Eskimo love song

You are my husband/you are my wife,

My feet shall run because of you. My feet, dance because of you.

My heart shall beat because of you.

My eyes, see because of you.

My mind thinks because of you.

And I shall love because of you.

 

Vows:  (This was the Give. Me. The Book. part)

GROOM     Will you, JODI, take my hand and explore with me the limitless wonders of this world?

BRIDE       I will.

BRIDE      JEFF, will you promise to share with me your own discoveries and new perspectives on life?

GROOM     I will.  Will you work with me to broaden our horizons continually and expand the boundaries or our lives?

BRIDE      I will. Will you live with me to the fullest, for all the days we share?

GROOM     I will.  Then I, JEFF, offer to you, JODI, all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.  I will always offer to you support, friendship, and peace. Let us explore together the infinity of our love from this day forward.

BRIDE              I, JODI, question no part of your commitment, recognize no darkness that we cannot vanquish with open hearts, and accept you as my partner above all others.  I pledge before this company to love and cherish you forever as my husband in acknowledgment of the miracle of us.

RESPONSE READING

I come to you pure of heart and sound of mind.  From this day forward we will walk in peace, live by God’s word, and trust in his blessings.  If these include the joy of children, we will raise them in His sight and under His hand.

Wedding song: “In this Life…”

Lighting of the Candles:

Minister: We now come to the lighting of the Candles of Unity. We ask that the mother’s of both the Bride and Groom light the two smaller candles representing the individual lives of the Bride and Groom. They then pass them to their son and daughter.

JODI and JEFF in lighting the Unity candle you signify to yourselves and to the whole world that the two of you will forever be as one.

Minister:  At this time we welcome the new bride’s brother, to assist in the breaking of the glass ceremony.

BROTHER OF THE BRIDE: It is my pleasure to bring to you the symbolic Breaking of the Glass The shattering glass reminds us that even at the height of personal joy, it is our duty to recall the sadness and tragedy in the world around us. The glass is shattered with the implication that the marriage shall always remain intact.

Jeff, I present this glass to you with  joy.

Jodi and Jeff may your marriage be as strong and complete as it would be difficult to unshatter this symbolic glass

RING EXCHANGE

Minister: May I have the rings, please?

Minister:  JODI and JEFF, may your love be as eternal as the unbroken infinity of the rings you are about to exchange.

GROOM     With this ring, I thee, wed.

BRIDE        And, with this ring, I thee, wed.

Minister: At this time it is my pleasure by the authority of the Universal Life Church of the State of California and the laws of the State of Michigan to pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the Bride

Ladies and Gentlemen may I present to you: MR and MRS JEFF KORTE

 

 

The Pout

“Yes.” Jeff responded with as much exasperation as he could muster, which wasn’t much.  “I can be in charge of something,” he pouted a little.

Besides the fact that he was right, the pout always undid me. Actually, the pout itself wasn’t the thing that swayed me. It was the pout combined with the boyishly hopeful look in his eyes.

When given the chance (aka as me letting something go), Jeff made great inroads.

He conquered the wedding menu, listed the songs he really wanted the DJ to play and made sure he had some of the ones the DJ wasn’t likely to have handy. He took care of picking up the flowers and mums and getting them to the bar before the ceremony.

Jeff was also in charge of getting our self-penned vows and the ceremony in order for the minister. We received a great draft and ok’d it and we were feelin’ pretty good about everything.

Having never done this before, and not since, either, I’m not sure every state works or doesn’t work the way Michigan does.

In Lenawee County, you cannot get a marriage license more than 33 days before your wedding. There’s also a 3-day waiting period. There’s no need for blood tests or pre-marriage counseling. However, law requires various educational materials make it into your hand: pre-natal care, prevention of VD and HIV.

Based on that, and the fact that I had an outpatient medical procedure appointment coming up, we decided that we would both take the full-day off work, go to my appointment, and then to get our license.

There’s something to be said for efficiency, right?

Quote for the Week:

2016 06 21 Efficiency may be the name of the game jakorte

 

Extras: 2016 06 21 Wedding Ceremonies jakorte

2016 06 21 weddingbudget jakorte2016 06 21 weddingsonglist jakorte

2016 06 21 wedding menu jakorte

Rolling

With Jeff, for the first time, forever became the most comfortable place I ever knew. I easily banished the future.  I stopped looking beyond and stopped looking forward in favor of our wonderful right now.

There were two times in our shared life when I can say I was truly clueless.  There might have been a few others, but if there were, I’m still clueless about them.

I really can’t explain what bug bit me in July of 2000. I pretty much went from zero to 110, from status quo to let’s rock this boat.

I started hinting that I’d really like to be engaged. Not so much for relationship security, as a logical progression, at least in my mind.

I might have asked at least once a day for a few weeks. “Can we be engaged?”

And Jeff would smile and either say, “I’ll think about it…” or answer, “Eventually.”

I’d laugh and say, “Think faster!” or “When’s eventually?”

Not being engaged wasn’t breaking my heart.  We were ‘we,’, and that was that.

Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t give up. I continued sneaking in my request as odd times when he might just be caught off guard; in the morning, in the evening, commuting, at home, grocery shopping.

Like that Friday night in July. Jeff was laid out on the living room floor, head on a pillow, asking of I’d roll over his cramping calves with a heavy wooden pin.

After 20 loving minutes of trundling, I threw my wild pitch. “Are you sure we can’t get engaged?”

To which, Jeff languidly replied, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll do anything you want.”

“Really?” I asked.

He took a long breath.”Yeah, OK.” he responded.

I pressed, “So… we’re engaged?”

“Yes,” Jeff sighed, sitting up. “But… I was going to ask you tomorrow… at the airport when we picked up your mom.”

I sat there open-mouthed and silent, holding the rolling pin. Jeff was very hard to disappoint, and I had tremendously succeeded in disappointing us both.

“Well,” I said, “You can still…”

“Nah,” he interrupted. “That would be silly,” and then mentioned something about talking to my Dad.

I wasn’t really listening, because  I was fighting tears. Jeff took my hands, and told me, “Don’t cry. It doesn’t matter. We’re engaged, now.”

I nodded in silent agreement, then Jeff suddenly and loudly war-whooped, pumped his arm into the air and shouted, “I’m ENGAGED!”

Of course he was right. I laughed and snuggled up and was happy.

If you’re wondering why my mother decided to visit at that particular time, I can assure you – I wasn’t.

I don’t remember going to the airport or coming home, but I do remember Jeff was on the couch and I was standing up and Mom was standing by the front window when we phoned my father.

“Dad!” I told him, “Jeff engaged me!”

A few years after Jeff passed, I was telling the story of how I coerced him with a rolling pin, and pointing out how I’d never been proposed to when my dimmer switch suddenly cranked to high. I finally put two-and-two together, as the saying goes.

Honestly.  Until that moment, it has never occurred to me that was the reason my mother had decided to come visit. I asked her about it and right after she exclaimed, “Really? You didn’t figure that out?”

She went on to explain that Jeff had called my Dad , not so much asked for permission but to explain why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

It breaks my  heart now, that I was so caught up in my happiness, that I didn’t realize my Dad didn’t come because he couldn’t. I didn’t realize the full impact of him saying, “I wish I could be there,” or how sad that must have made him.

It breaks my heart now that I took that special celebratory opportunity away from both of us.

I leave out these sad parts when people ask how Jeff proposed.

I usually manage a smile and say, “He didn’t… I convinced him with a rolling pin.”

Quote for the Week:

rolling pin 05 03 2016 jakorte

 

Enjoy this Week’s Discovery Links:

Roll of honor: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/roll-of-honor.html

Vintage: http://www.collectorsweekly.com/kitchen/rolling-pins

Historical Collections:  http://www.farmgirlbloggers.com/8296

 

A year under

I999: a year under our belt.

I moved to a larger, less expensive (go figure) apartment to save some money and accommodate weekends with Jeff.  Most of the time, he would arrive on Friday evening and stay until Sunday afternoon. One Friday, he was late. So, after waiting about an hour, I decided to page him.

He had a shoe-box size work cell-phone, used only for work, so I did not have that number. Non-work related outgoing and incoming charges were an expensive responsibility for the employee, so I likely wouldn’t have gone that rout, anyway.

I figured he might have decided on a nap before driving up, in which case I would wake him, and he would get on the giddy-up. It’d happened before.

I didn’t hear back from Jeff, so I paged him again about 15 minutes later.

I didn’t get a call back, but five minutes or so later, there was a knock on my door. It was Jeff, but he wasn’t looking good. He was pale and sweating and looked like he’d just been through something horrible and come out the other side in one piece, but shaken.

“I could use a glass of water,” he said. I went for the glass.

He came in dropped his overnight bag, and plopped down on the couch. Staring at the floor, he said, “I nearly had a heart attack…”

“I got your page,” he said, before he drank the entire glass of water, and sat back wiping his brow.

“I was really tired driving up here.  Long day.” Jeff explained.

“When my pager went off, it sort of woke me up, but not really. I wasn’t sure where I was or what was going on, but I saw a huge tree in front of me and realized I was going to smash into it, so I screamed and slammed on the breaks.”

I sat there, wide-eyed.

“When I was done screaming, and hadn’t hit anything, I realized that the truck was running, but I was in ‘Park.’ In your parking lot. In front of a tree.”

“Wait, what?” I asked. “You were here?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking up at me, “for about an hour.”

“Holy cow ploppings,” I said, (although I probably used a real curse.)  “Do you need to go lie down?”

“No,” he laughed, more like his regular self. “I’m wide awake now!”

In our first year together, I’d learned that Jeff could fall asleep anywhere. At a race track, in a movie theatre, sitting on my couch, while talking on the phone, using ICQ, in the break-room at work waiting for on-call calls on weekends.

I never thought about him falling asleep at the wheel, so I asked him if that had ever had happened. He said it hadn’t, but that was because many times he’d just pull over and catch a 20 minute nap at a gas station or market parking lot.

Made sense to me.

By the time we’d finished dinner, Jeff was not-silently laughing at himself, and had another funny story to share.

Quote for the Week:

2016 02 02 situation not as it seems jakorte

Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

20 minutes: https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/napping

20 minutes:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-t5N-YgS-0

20 minutes:  http://www.shape.com/fitness/videos/workout-video-20-minute-metabolism-booster

 

 

Paths, Almost

Looking down.

Habit; necessity.

I remember learning to walk, perhaps because I was a little older when I started to. With my mother at one end, and my older brother at the other, we played a game that required me to take a certain color ball from one person and bring it to the other. Not only did I have to know the color, I had to say the color, and then I had to deliver it to the other end. I recall being stuck on “yellow.” I couldn’t keep playing until I said “yellow,” and I wasn’t very good at saying “yellow.” It came out “weh-woh,” no matter how many times my mother instructed, “Say, yellow. Yell – o.”

The generational practice to correct club-feet was casting. It took me years, and a visit to a chiropractor to determine that while my feet are straight, and I move without a noticeable gait, my hips are ill-aligned.

The result is unsteadiness, a tendency for my ankles to turn. Looking down for sure-footedness constantly warred with the grade-school how-young-ladies-walk admonition, “Look up and ahead when walking.”

This is the reason I don’t run; experience has made me too nervous footed. I need to see exactly where the next foot-step is going to land. I am not comfortable the long-distance scan and memorization of holes, or cracks, or puddles, second nature to regular runners.

I do not want to fall; therefore I do not run. Never have. Not for buses, or subways, or taxis, or to be first in line for concert tickets or anything, nada. There was that one time, when a friend convinced me that it would be a good idea to do the day after Christmas early-morning sale stampede at a Wal*Mart in Tennessee. I ran, only for fear of being trampled and only off to the side until I was safe.

I’m sure there’s some sort of opposite visionary inspirational out there. “Do not let fear of falling stop you from running,” or something along those lines.

I’ve come to a good clip, though, constantly working to up-pace. Not quite speed-walker fast, but not quite as awkward appearing, either. I do imagine running while I’m walking. I also imagine dancing, and leaping in joy. I really did enjoy dance-walking, and was sad to see it end.

Some people don’t quite understand the competitive speed walking delineation. It does beg the question, “If you’re going to almost run, why not run?” This argument makes sense, unless you’re hosting a slight impairment, magnified by fear and habit.

It always comes down to this:

Who knows what brings people to where they are, or why they do or don’t do certain things?

… and this:

Gift someone with encouragement.

Quote for the Week:

2015 08 11 For every visionary inspirational out there jakorte

Enjoy this week’s Discovery Links:

Pluswalk: http://eracewalk.walkingclubofgeorgia.com/PlusFAQsWhy.htm

Posturing: http://www.racewalk.com/howTo/posture.php

For beginners: http://www.thewalkingsite.com/beginner.html