Try to Picture This

Well. I haven’t found them, so I’ll do my best.

Allow me to just repeat: I’d never done this before, never imagined doing it, and obviously missed a few major wedding details.

When it came time to assemble for the ceremonial walk down the aisle, we realized we needed a place to gather.  Jeff and I and five bridesmaids and five groomsmen ended up in packed quarters in the only available space with a door. A combination coat closet/storage-room at the bottom of the staircase to the bar’s office was both, cramped and hot with stale air.

Jeff’s brother, Eric, moved a bit up on the stairs, mostly to get out of the way, but ended up being strategically placed with a camera in hand when things went snowballing wrong.

Months after, when Jeff and I reviewed the piles of pictures taken with the disposables provided on each table and the many envelopes and sweetly assembled books of photos that came from family and friends, we realized we had a real-time pictorial of rapid-fire events leading to true prenuptial panic.

And then, about 6 weeks ago, after years of careful care – nearly 15 to be exact – the chronicle disappeared. The story  must go on, so I must ask you now to try and picture this:

It begins with big smiles from Jeff’s sister, Nicole and Best Man, Jeff clutching two bouquets; one is mine, the other is his wife’s.

As we’re deciding the wedding party walk-in order, because we’re thinking we’re about to walk-in, the cloakroom door cracks open.

Jeff’s father, Roger, sticks his head, one shoulder and a gesturing hand through the door to ask a very important question: “Has anyone seen the preacher?”

Jeff, already over-warm and red-faced looks as if he’s been shocked – as in zapped, with high voltage… for an extended period of time… even though it was a 2-second reaction.

This next image is a bit complicated, and multi-scened.

Front and center, Jeff points to the nearest also looking shocked groomsman – Steve. He asks (orders, tells, demands, pleads) Steve to go to our hotel to get his phone, which he didn’t bring with him… because who needs a phone at their own wedding, right?

To the right, the door is cracked open, again, Ever so slightly, this time. This time the DJ, standing back a bit, is speaking with the nearest person – Groomsman Randy. I’m not sure how exactly the information was relayed – direct from the DJ or softened by groomsman report – the bottom line is another significant problem. A music disaster – as in, our DJ has forgotten to bring along the wedding march.

To the left, are a lot of unhappy bridesmaid faces and the bride is looking a little… lost.

It was determined that the DJ didn’t live too far away, and we didn’t have a preacher, anyway, so he might as well go get the cd we needed.

The final image in the series is of me surrounded by my still displeased attendants. Of course it’s a picture, so you wouldn’t know to look at it, but I’m pretty sure I hadn’t blinked in the whole 60 second minute of mayhem.

A rocks glass containing amber liquid, half-full (or half-empty) appeared in my hand. Someone asked me if I needed a drink. I think I requested straight Jack. I got Jack and Ginger.  It never was completely filled to the top, either, so there was some forethought by someone there.

At some point, at least some of our attendees became enlightened. My brother, Todd, scrambled to write wedding vows on a napkin determined to marry us unofficially (without anyone realizing the unofficial part.)

The plan was to get on with the business of appearing to be marrying, celebrating and then, at some later date in lieu of a honeymoon day or two finding our way to a courthouse to really get married.

About the time the DJ returned, Dr. Dinglefritz (not his real name, but close) showed up, and the wedding got under way. Sort of…

Quote for the Week:


20146 08 09 Photos more than chronicle our lives jakorte

Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Order of Attendants:  The Officiate First

The Science of Glasses:  Drink This in That

Photos:  Put Them Somewhere Safe

Bonus: the 1st (sans Nicole) and 2nd to last pre-bride’s beverage. I pulled these two photos out of the story telling sequence, because they were near duplicates. Nicole moved into the picture after the first one was snapped.  The pre-drink one clearly demonstrates the non-blinking I mentioned. They’re all I have of this part of the event now. In with the lost pix, was also a sweet one of me helping Jeff with his tie in our hotel room, before formal photographs. I do have this one, though, which was the first time Jeff saw me in my outfit. I still can’t believe they’re gone.

2016 08 09 Wedding Bonus first and second to last aisle and first view by jeff jakorte

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