It Was Supposed to Go Like This, Part 2

We got through that part, and we got through the next part, too.

Then, prematurely and over-enthusiastically (probably due to the nature of his state, which didn’t even seem to be in Michigan), the guy who was supposed to be marrying us announced in Jeff’s direction, “You may kiss the bride!”

By now Jeff had significant rows of scowling creases on his forehead. He also had the where-with-all to stop that nonsense in its track by not-so stage whispering, “The rings! The. Rings!”

We got through that part.

One of the funniest professional photos in my official wedding album is the one where the best man and the matron of honor are assembled to sign as witnesses to the marriage. There’s my sister-in-law not looking pleased, holding out her hand, demanding the pen from Dr. Dinglefritz in a “Give. Me. The Pen.” gesture. My brother is earnestly leaning forward, balancing on 3 fingers deliberately placed on the table. Our best man seems unsure, which is well warranted.

When we left the festivities that evening, we weren’t even sure we were really married.

When the marriage certificate arrived, I was relieved to note it was indeed valid

Jeff just shrugged and said, “See? I told you everything would work out.” Then, added “Wort.”

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Bonus: It Was Supposed to Go Like This:

JEFFREY SCOTT KORTE & JODI ANN SELIN WEDDING, OCTOBER 1, 2001

Opening Words by Minister:

Good afternoon, let me please introduce myself, I am DR (sic) Dinglefritz, I am an ordained minister and it is my pleasure to incorporate the beliefs of both JEFF KORTE and JODI ANN SELIN in the wedding service and to thank you for honoring them with your presence today.  Thank you for the friendship and support that you have given them in the past.  Their wedding today will be a moment when all our thoughts are turned toward love and joy.

Prayers:

Minister:      God, our hearts are overflowing with happiness on this special day–JEFF and JODI’s wedding day.  Thank you for bringing them together and for directing them every step of the way as they made their marriage plans.  Thank you also for these their friends who have come to celebrate these moments with them.

Bless their marriage and the home that they are establishing

together.  Help them to continue to grow in their love for each other. Make them thoughtful and understanding helpmates and companions.  Guide them and walk beside them during all their days together as husband and wife.

Giving in Marriage:

Minister:

Who presents this woman to be married to this man? (Response from Bride’s father) “Her mother and I do.” (This part was silent, but there was waving.)

Minister: Today’s reading chosen by the Bride and Groom; Eskimo love song

You are my husband/you are my wife,

My feet shall run because of you. My feet, dance because of you.

My heart shall beat because of you.

My eyes, see because of you.

My mind thinks because of you.

And I shall love because of you.

 

Vows:  (This was the Give. Me. The Book. part)

GROOM     Will you, JODI, take my hand and explore with me the limitless wonders of this world?

BRIDE       I will.

BRIDE      JEFF, will you promise to share with me your own discoveries and new perspectives on life?

GROOM     I will.  Will you work with me to broaden our horizons continually and expand the boundaries or our lives?

BRIDE      I will. Will you live with me to the fullest, for all the days we share?

GROOM     I will.  Then I, JEFF, offer to you, JODI, all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.  I will always offer to you support, friendship, and peace. Let us explore together the infinity of our love from this day forward.

BRIDE              I, JODI, question no part of your commitment, recognize no darkness that we cannot vanquish with open hearts, and accept you as my partner above all others.  I pledge before this company to love and cherish you forever as my husband in acknowledgment of the miracle of us.

RESPONSE READING

I come to you pure of heart and sound of mind.  From this day forward we will walk in peace, live by God’s word, and trust in his blessings.  If these include the joy of children, we will raise them in His sight and under His hand.

Wedding song: “In this Life…”

Lighting of the Candles:

Minister: We now come to the lighting of the Candles of Unity. We ask that the mother’s of both the Bride and Groom light the two smaller candles representing the individual lives of the Bride and Groom. They then pass them to their son and daughter.

JODI and JEFF in lighting the Unity candle you signify to yourselves and to the whole world that the two of you will forever be as one.

Minister:  At this time we welcome the new bride’s brother, to assist in the breaking of the glass ceremony.

BROTHER OF THE BRIDE: It is my pleasure to bring to you the symbolic Breaking of the Glass The shattering glass reminds us that even at the height of personal joy, it is our duty to recall the sadness and tragedy in the world around us. The glass is shattered with the implication that the marriage shall always remain intact.

Jeff, I present this glass to you with  joy.

Jodi and Jeff may your marriage be as strong and complete as it would be difficult to unshatter this symbolic glass

RING EXCHANGE

Minister: May I have the rings, please?

Minister:  JODI and JEFF, may your love be as eternal as the unbroken infinity of the rings you are about to exchange.

GROOM     With this ring, I thee, wed.

BRIDE        And, with this ring, I thee, wed.

Minister: At this time it is my pleasure by the authority of the Universal Life Church of the State of California and the laws of the State of Michigan to pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the Bride

Ladies and Gentlemen may I present to you: MR and MRS JEFF KORTE

 

 

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It Was Supposed to Go Like This, Part 1

It was supposed to go like this:
1:00 PM – Ceremony
Processional
Greeting
Service
Unity Candle with song
Ring Exchange
Glass Breaking
Blessings
Recessional

Our off-course wedding took a few more twists and turns.

There was, of course, no time for a pre-wedding huddle, so we forged ahead, not blindly.
We had the plan in place, even if the plan suddenly was no longer clear to the officiant.

Although, it should have been… because we discussed it… and it was in writing.
At least he remembered to bring along the booklet containing our vows and the order of things.

The minister’s greeting went fairly smoothly. Then, because he was – oh, how to say this politely, um, I’ll go with – disoriented, he read past our introductory prayer and began to read our vows as if we were reading them, which we weren’t.

Jeff got his attention by snapping, and in a quiet and unusually stern tone said, “Give. Me. The Book.” He was given the book.

We got through that part, and handed the pages back.

At that point, instead of moving on to the lighting of the candles, the minister began mumbling, “By the authority of the Universal Church and the state laws of Michigan…”

I gave Jeff the “what-happened-to-the-rest-of-it” head-tilt of a puppy who’d just had the remainder of a biscuit yanked away.

Jeff shook his head, took the papers away, shuffled them and handed them back.

Before we even went into the coat closet, Jeff and I made sure the candles and the two lighters were in place. When our mothers arrived at the small table, things came to pause.

The lighters were no longer there. I watched as a game of “do you have a lighter” telephone moved down the groomsmen. A whisper in an ear, a head-shake, a head turn, another whisper in another ear. At the end of the line, there were none in any of their pockets.

This time Jeff looked at me and tilted his head. I turned toward our congregation, asking, “Does anyone have a lighter?” I specifically called to one of my uncles, who did not have one either.

Somehow one found its way to the front, but neither of our nervous mothers could flick up a flame. With help, they got through that part

Jeff and I did our part, each taking one of our mother’s taper candles and jointly lighting our ornate own. So, we got through that part, too.

Later, Jeff learned that upon seeing the Unity candle, the manager thought the most expedient way to handle the impending “fire hazard” situation was to swipe the lighter. Supposedly, he intended to speak with us before we got underway.

That moment when our mothers stopped staring at the uncooperative lighter, looked at each other wide-eyed, leaned their heads together, began to shake with muted laughter and then let go soft giggles is another one of my favorite memories.

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Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Origins: Of Traditions

Origins: Unity Candle

Origins: Rehearsal (might have helped.)

Bonus: Unity Candle Ceremony

Push & Drag

So, we got off to a late start.  But there we finally were: my father and I on the way to the altar. We’d practiced step-walking at a reasonable pace because he tired easily; step – pause – step. A simple plan which might have worked had Dad not had a ridiculous bout of last-minute vanity.

He adamantly announced he was not going to be photographed carrying his portable oxygen tank and wearing a nasal cannula, and that we would just have to go faster.

My father sprinted down the aisle, picking up speed as we went.  Our pace was permanently recorded in my official wedding album.  It is abundantly clear that my father is pulling me along behind him. The good news is the absurdity made me laugh, so there’s no chance of any remote future generation ever mistaking the drag as reluctance on my part.

As far as the “Who gives this woman?” question, it never audibly answered. Strapping himself back into his gear, re-oxygenating but still winded, my father shakily raised his right hand and then used his left hand to raise my mother’s .

Of course, we were the last ones’ the travel that path, so I missed seeing Jeff escort his mother. Our wedding photographer captured the essence of that path, as well.

With one hand on his mother’s shoulder and the other on her arm, Jeff was doing his best to both keep his mom going and steer her down the aisle. Rather than use her walker, Sally wobbled from table edge to table edge, with Jeff as a spotter, bringing up the rear.

The aisle was a bit narrow to start with, so there were a few other awkward slightly leading or slightly squishing couples captured, as well. The most important thing was that we all made it, and the marriage could get underway.

Quote for the Week:

Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Oops: Which Side?

Timing: How Long?

Look Back: And Laugh

Bonus: Push & Drag:

 

 

Try to Picture This

Well. I haven’t found them, so I’ll do my best.

Allow me to just repeat: I’d never done this before, never imagined doing it, and obviously missed a few major wedding details.

When it came time to assemble for the ceremonial walk down the aisle, we realized we needed a place to gather.  Jeff and I and five bridesmaids and five groomsmen ended up in packed quarters in the only available space with a door. A combination coat closet/storage-room at the bottom of the staircase to the bar’s office was both, cramped and hot with stale air.

Jeff’s brother, Eric, moved a bit up on the stairs, mostly to get out of the way, but ended up being strategically placed with a camera in hand when things went snowballing wrong.

Months after, when Jeff and I reviewed the piles of pictures taken with the disposables provided on each table and the many envelopes and sweetly assembled books of photos that came from family and friends, we realized we had a real-time pictorial of rapid-fire events leading to true prenuptial panic.

And then, about 6 weeks ago, after years of careful care – nearly 15 to be exact – the chronicle disappeared. The story  must go on, so I must ask you now to try and picture this:

It begins with big smiles from Jeff’s sister, Nicole and Best Man, Jeff clutching two bouquets; one is mine, the other is his wife’s.

As we’re deciding the wedding party walk-in order, because we’re thinking we’re about to walk-in, the cloakroom door cracks open.

Jeff’s father, Roger, sticks his head, one shoulder and a gesturing hand through the door to ask a very important question: “Has anyone seen the preacher?”

Jeff, already over-warm and red-faced looks as if he’s been shocked – as in zapped, with high voltage… for an extended period of time… even though it was a 2-second reaction.

This next image is a bit complicated, and multi-scened.

Front and center, Jeff points to the nearest also looking shocked groomsman – Steve. He asks (orders, tells, demands, pleads) Steve to go to our hotel to get his phone, which he didn’t bring with him… because who needs a phone at their own wedding, right?

To the right, the door is cracked open, again, Ever so slightly, this time. This time the DJ, standing back a bit, is speaking with the nearest person – Groomsman Randy. I’m not sure how exactly the information was relayed – direct from the DJ or softened by groomsman report – the bottom line is another significant problem. A music disaster – as in, our DJ has forgotten to bring along the wedding march.

To the left, are a lot of unhappy bridesmaid faces and the bride is looking a little… lost.

It was determined that the DJ didn’t live too far away, and we didn’t have a preacher, anyway, so he might as well go get the cd we needed.

The final image in the series is of me surrounded by my still displeased attendants. Of course it’s a picture, so you wouldn’t know to look at it, but I’m pretty sure I hadn’t blinked in the whole 60 second minute of mayhem.

A rocks glass containing amber liquid, half-full (or half-empty) appeared in my hand. Someone asked me if I needed a drink. I think I requested straight Jack. I got Jack and Ginger.  It never was completely filled to the top, either, so there was some forethought by someone there.

At some point, at least some of our attendees became enlightened. My brother, Todd, scrambled to write wedding vows on a napkin determined to marry us unofficially (without anyone realizing the unofficial part.)

The plan was to get on with the business of appearing to be marrying, celebrating and then, at some later date in lieu of a honeymoon day or two finding our way to a courthouse to really get married.

About the time the DJ returned, Dr. Dinglefritz (not his real name, but close) showed up, and the wedding got under way. Sort of…

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Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Order of Attendants:  The Officiate First

The Science of Glasses:  Drink This in That

Photos:  Put Them Somewhere Safe

Bonus: the 1^st (sans Nicole) and 2^nd to last pre-bride’s beverage. I pulled these two photos out of the story telling sequence, because they were near duplicates. Nicole moved into the picture after the first one was snapped.  The pre-drink one clearly demonstrates the non-blinking I mentioned. They’re all I have of this part of the event now. In with the lost pix, was also a sweet one of me helping Jeff with his tie in our hotel room, before formal photographs. I do have this one, though, which was the first time Jeff saw me in my outfit. I still can’t believe they’re gone.

Heels & Hair

Just a few weeks before our wedding we were back at Mom & Dad’s hotel.  Mom and I went shoe shopping, leaving Jeff and my Dad behind. I would have been happy with white Keds under my floor length skirt, but propriety apparently required shoes. We ended up placing a rush order for the lowest-heeled pair of slip-ons available at a custom dye shop. Mom’s fingers crossed they’d get done in time. Mine were double crossed that they wouldn’t.

When my mother-in-law-to-be asked me who was doing my wedding hair, I told her, “me.”

She looked as surprised by the answer as I did by the question. “Oh, no,” she said. “You shouldn’t do your own hair on your wedding day! Vickie is doing my hair and Nannee’s hair. She can do yours, too.”

Vickie was Sally’s cousin, and Sally and Nannee were always raving about her work, so I said, “Ok.”

I didn’t understand about wedding day hair. I’ve always had fine hair that refused to hold a curl or a sweep or even remain on my forehead as bangs. I figured my hair would look the same no matter who did it, but I kind liked the idea of one less thing to worry about.

Now I know why wedding hair is a big deal. I was astounded at my first glimpse. Mostly because I actually did not see what was happening to my hair.

My mother took pictures of me. I took pictures of her; which I’m sure if she were alive she might protest my sharing. We both spent so much time giggling about each other’s in-progress ‘do’s. We couldn’t help laughing with Vickie, either.

Our styling session became one of my favortie pre-wedding day highlights, and the best way I can re-thank Vickie is to tell this story:

I borrowed a corset and it had the desired effect of keeping everything where it was supposed to be. There was no question that at some point I would have to use the ladies’ room, and there was no question about the fact that I would need help. A lot of help, undoing and redoing.

After the first rounds of wedding dances, and a glass of champagne, my thank-goodness someone brought me a pre-wedding drink (that there absolutely was a need for) was sitting heavily. I tracked down my mother for assistance.

My second glimpse as I entered the restroom, caught me off-guard and surprised me again. Enough so that I stopped in my tracks and exclaimed, “Oooh!”

To be quite honest, up until that point, we’d had things to do and schedules to keep. There was hustling and bustling: to the park for outdoor pictures, to the venue for indoor portraits. Jeff arrived freshly groomed with a barber-shop shave and a car full of live mum plants. There were balloons and canopies and to be quite honest, again, I had no idea when that had happened, either, but I know they happened because of Carey, so that’s another re-thank you I’d like to offer.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I marveled. “I can’t believe that’s me!” I said.“I look like a fairy princess!”

“You do look like a fairy princess,” Mom said. “As you should! It’s your wedding day…”

Quote for the Week:

 

Enjoy This Week’s Discovery Links:

Statute:  Technically

Corsets: Historically

If the Shoe Fits: Wear It!

Bonus: Hair