Affirmation Pants

My life has been a little different lately; lots of talk and introductions.

For years, my friend Desiree has encouraged me to find a mantra. She has one she uses regularly to sign email. While it’s not an uncommon thing to do in email, I interpret most sign-offs to be quirky, personal, inspirational quotes that mean something to whomever is using it.

I’ve never had a mantra. I’ve never been that inspired by any singular quote. I’ve also been operating under the assumptions that a) I’d have to be in a meditative state to use a mantra, b) if I was in a meditative state, I wouldn’t need a mantra and c) any old saying would do. I figured it was just a distractive phrase to take you out of where you were: to redirect and elevate your situationally frustrated consciousness above whatever situation was causing the need to do so.

I admit I’ve probably taken inappropriate liberties with any un-niceties I’ve repeatedly muttered under my self-justified breath. SBM, FtLoP, LBCJ. All mantras I’ve coined. Sometimes, I’ll throw in a more mainstream IDGaF. If you know what any of those abbreviations mean, you’ve probably heard them from me a number of times. If you don’t, consider yourself lucky. It’s just as well.

As I mentioned, I’ve recently been introduced to a number of speculative persons who are either trying to figure me out, or trying to help me figure me out.

Last week, I could have saved them all the trouble by confidently spouting forth my firm belief in my beliefs. This week, though, I’ve got a whole different story.

One of those speculators introduced me to Pema Chödrön – an American Buddhist Nun who re-teaches Buddhist concepts to the current world. I found used copies of “Don’t Bite the Hook” and “Getting Unstuck” on Amazon. Audio was recommended, so that’s the way I went. It took me three evenings to get past the first 5 segments of “Don’t Bite…”. I just kept replaying them over and over, becoming more and more amazed. It’s really quite simple. In fact, it’s so simple, it seems too simple.

“Getting Unstuck,” got into that mantra thing again, so I considered some nerve-striking sayings I’ve taped to my desk, my mirror, my fridge, my closet. I chose to channel a moody affirmation offered by Snow Patrol’s, Gary Lightbody: “This isn’t Everything you are.”

I was doing ok with that one. It has pulled me out of quite a few uncomfortable moments, while reminding me that this moment, when things have gone awry – this very specific moment, isn’t everything I am. It’s just a moment. It will pass.

You’re probably wondering about the title pants. I bought a new pair with some forceful encouragement, and the unreserved observation that they made me look like I actually have a butt. I don’t. I’ve got Noassatol disease. (Say it aloud a few times. You’ll get it. ;-)) In any case, I wore those Lee “Sinfully Soft” style pants today. When you’re buying pants, you make sure they fit. You may not check out what the closure button says. You may not read the hangtag description. If they fit, and you like them, and they’re the right price, on clearance at Kohl’s with an additional 30% off coupon, you buy them.

Then, one day, when you’ve been over-using your newly acquired mantra, you discover something remarkable. Something that literally packs the power to make you laugh in delight… in the company restroom. And you don’t really care who hears you, because there, in your pants, appropriately where they should be while you’re doing what you do in a bathroom, there are affirmations. Written affirmations on the lining and creative pocket pouches of your new pants. Phrases; lot’s of them. Lots of encouraging affirmations:

You are Valued.

You are Creative.

You are Successful.

You are Confident.

You are Inspiring.

You are laughing because you never expected to be taking graffiti encouragement from your pants.

It’s been clinically proven that laughter reduces stress, and just when you’ve relaxed enough to stop giggling, you realize you’ve been carrying those phrases on you all day, and it makes you laugh a little more. It makes you feel… good.

Thank you, Lee jeans company for the amazing, affirmative, and very comfortable pants.
affirmative pants Lee

. Quote for the Week:

“It’s a miracle I was able to get out of the house today. It’s a miracle I’m even wearing pants, a double miracle I remembered to wear shoes.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

Enjoy this week’s discovery links:

Pema Chödrön:

Pema Chödrön: (video) Heightened Neurosis, Trouble Makers, and Not Biting the Hook:

Making Affirmations Work:


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